Chapter One

The baby’s gone.

Nara sat up in bed, feeling immediately lightheaded. Her strength sifted down through her body like sand through a sieve, making her hands and feet unbearably heavy.

It had been two years. Somehow, the pain was nearly as fresh as when she was seventeen.

Her eyes strayed past her bedroom door toward the dorm apartment’s kitchen, where a block of kitchen knives waited on the counter.

She had never attempted suicide, but these days the thought visited her at least daily.

She sighed and came to her feet. An ambulance wailed as it passed by eleven stories below.

Nara put earbuds in and started a high-energy playlist. Maybe this evening would take the edge off for her. Maybe, if she gave him enough time, Everett could heal her.

Nara stepped out of Everett’s low-seated sports car, wearing stiletto heels and a summery red dress that matched her lipstick. The valet put the car into gear, and Everett’s black sports car disappeared around the corner of the restaurant. Her heels resounded on the concrete with an assertiveness she did not feel.

The restaurant was on the outskirts of Atlanta, with serene landscaping and articulate stonework. A soft glow emanated from the windows.

Music washed over her as Everett opened the door. “After you, m’lady,” he said with his brilliant smile. Everett wore a black suit-jacket over a white dress shirt that had the top two buttons left open. His light brown hair was curly but tame, and he had a lean, muscular build. He took her hand, and Nara straightened, comfort soaking into her bones.

Nara was quiet all evening. Everett finished her leftovers—steak with truffle butter, brussels sprouts in a glaze, and bread toasted under cheese and herbs—since she could hardly bring herself to eat.

“I have something for you,” said Everett. He reached into his suit pocket and produced a dark, velvet pouch. Nara accepted the gift, and he dropped the contents into her tan, manicured hand.

Her heart caught in her throat.

It was a necklace, studded with white gems and shaped like a weeping willow.

Nara remembered the weeping willow boughs whispering overhead, felt the cold bench in Nanjing where she doubled over in agony, her long black hair sweeping her shins. She had died that day, under that damn tree.

“I looked up your name,” started Everett eagerly, his eyes bright. “Nara means ‘weeping willow.’ So I thought that would be perfect for you.”

Pain seized her so deeply she thought her heart might crack.

The loss, the betrayal, the agony she’d experienced that day…it was wrapped up in her very name.

But Everett hated when she was sad. It always seemed to make him uncomfortable.

“I didn’t know that’s what my name meant,” said Nara, forcing herself to confidently meet his expectant eyes. “Thank you. It’s beautiful!” Nara emptied her wineglass and looked at it with dissatisfaction.

“Are you okay?” asked Everett. “I can top off your drink.”

She forced a smile. “Do they have something stronger?”

* * *

“I don’t want her throwing up in my car,” said Everett. “Give me your keys.”

Everett’s roommate, Jeremy, stood in front of Nara in the aisle beside the restaurant table. Jeremy, with his buzzcut and gold chains, was at least a foot taller than Everett.

Nara’s head lolled sideways, and her short, black hair brushed her shoulder. The hubbub of voices and laughter inside carried on. Atlanta’s lights, which illuminated the sky for fifty miles every direction, softened the darkness outside the window beside her.

Why was Jeremy there? Had he been there the whole time, and she’d just forgotten? He usually went everywhere with Everett, but she vaguely remembered Ev saying Jeremy wouldn’t be there today.

She wondered how many drinks she’d had.

“What’s wrong with you?” asked Jeremy in his deep voice.

“Nothing,” slurred Nara.

“I was asking Everett,” said Jeremy. He sternly looked at his friend, who remained seated across from Nara, his elbow on the table.

“Something’s bothering her,” said Everett. “She needed to drink it off.” He dusted his hands on his pants and stood. “I’ll meet you outside the University Lofts, and we can trade our cars back.”

“I want to go home,” said Nara, with glazed eyes and a lighthearted toss of her head. “Hooooooooome.”

Jeremy’s mouth tightened. He dug the keys out his pocket and handed them over to Ev.

Everett came to stand beside Jeremy and was silent for several seconds. He gave her a sad smile. “She has no family, no money, hardly any friends…but I would take that in a heartbeat if it meant I could be free.” He turned to Jeremy. “If we could both be free.”

Jeremy lowered his dark eyes.

Everett sighed, then helped Nara stand. “I know you’re not going to remember this conversation, Nara.” He gently squeezed her shoulder as he guided her out of the restaurant. Her feet felt at least half a mile away from the rest of her body, and her vision swam. “Just try to remember: at least you’re free.”

* * *

Nara heard a keycard slide through a slot. She was in a hallway.

The door opened, and Everett turned sideways to carry her into her dormitory apartment, which she shared with two other girls. He laid Nara’s tiny frame on the living room couch. She was barely conscious as Everett set her high heels on the floor, returned her keycard to her purse, and kissed her good night.

Nara was distantly aware that she felt overwhelmingly happy and overwhelmingly sick as Everett left the apartment, closing the door behind him.

Nara rolled off the couch and landed on the rug with a thud.

She needed another drink.